question 3

A concept that I wish we could of discussed more from the book was intimate relationships. I have basically answers to a lot of the areas in my life, but when it comes to my intimate relationships, I seem to just miss the lessons every time. Intimate relationships are such a big part of our life. The media also puts a lot of pressure on people obtaining and sustaining intimate relationships. They are literally an obsession in our culture. For example, if a person doesn't want to get married and that isn't their ultimate goal, people tend to gasp and feel sorry for them. How come we have such an obsession with intimate relationships and we fear growing old alone. That is the biggest fear of so many people and to be honest i find it ridiculous. I am the opposite. I don't want to get married, I could care less about growing old and alone. But I get so many people startled by how I feel. I think this is because of the media. In every movie, there is always some love interest. Don't' get me wrong I love being in love, but I also know how to love being alone. I find myself constantly fighting the medias persuasion on love. I think intimate relationships are something we all could learn a thing or too about. It would also be nice to do some real-life exercises to practice communication in intimate relationships.

question 2

There were many concepts that I found to be interesting so I am going to mention more than one. The first concept that caught my attention in the class had to do with self-disclosure. I find myself intrigued by this concept because I have a little problem with it. I am way to open for my own good. But see then I question that and go, wait a minute who says I am way to open and according to what standard? I am very comfortable in my own skin so if I think something I usually say it out loud and if I have any kind of questions about what I go through in my life, I am the first one to ask. I have no shame about what I experience as a human. Self-disclosure is something that I am familiar with and in the book it was often spoken about in connection to building closer relationships. I have many close friendships that have lasted for up to 18 years. However my intimate relationships all have a common pattern and I do not nearly self-disclose half as much with the people I date than I do with my friends.
Another concept I liked in the class was related to pathos. Pathos is referred to as achieving credibility with your audience when speaking publicly or privately. I like to consider myself as someone who is very credible and I do this by practicing integrity.

last week question 1

Rhetorical criticism is the kind of methodology that I found to be most interesting. This is because I am most fascinated with how people can persuade others to do things or believe certain ideas. I am constantly trying to fight what people tell me to do my entire life. For example, teachers or my parents would tell me who I need to be and anytime they did I would reply with "who says?" I don't just trust someone and what they are telling me because they say I should. Rhetorical criticism questions some of that.
The deception I would enjoy studying most would be my ex-boyfriend being deceitful when he cheated on me. The research question I would frame about it is: How does a boy and a girl interact with one another when they know they are cheating on their partner? I would chose the Ethnography methodology to decipher this situation. This method is when I would get to go undercover and watch them from a distance or pretend I am someone else and interact with them as well. I think this methodology would be kind of fun and I would get to see some harsh truths that are apart of our world that we all have to face at times.

question 3

The concept that caught my attention was the idea of interpersonal communication and not being able to hide from it. According to Trenholm, "We can hide in the back of a classroom or make ourselves unobtrusive in a committee meeting, but when we communicate in a meeting face to face with one other person, we cannot hide" (p. 141). This caught my attention because I am big on meeting someone face to face. I judge everything from their shoes, to their hair and their body language and facial expressions. I have learned that I do this to protect myself. Because I have encountered some bad people, I tend to be on the defense when I meet new people. But I don't show it at all. I know that if I show it, people will in turn judge me. So I make sure that I keep a smile on my face and I make sure to ask a lot of questions. I don't want the people that I meet to know I am judging them because then they will act differently and then I can't get a good reading on who they truly are. I am a very good judge of character because I went to a boarding school in Ensenada, Mexico. This school did not educate me very well intellectually but it did educate me emotionally on all kinds of things. We would have to give people feedback every single day. Feedback is when you see something in someone else that they can improve on. So we became trained to read people to be able to give feedback.

Question 2

This is a very interesting question for me to answer. I know exactly what want when I put someone in the dating category or the friend category. This is going to sound very funny; but I like skater boys. That means if a guy doesn't skateboard, he probably won't ever be someone I would date. It isn't just the clothes of a skater boy, but it is the attitude. Many skater like guys tend to have laid back personalities. I also have a lot of common interests with them because I like to watch skateboarding I also like that they are passionate about something and they look pretty hot while doing it. One of the funny things I do when I meet a boy is look at if hes wearing skater shoes when we meet. If he isn't I am immediately uninterested. They could be my friends but not someone I find attractive.
Ducks theory makes complete sense to me! I do it all of the time and the funny thing is I know I do it, but I still do it anyways. I have actually maintained friendships with people that are all over the world. I went to a boarding school in Mexico, Ensenada when I was 15-years-old and ended up becoming friends with everyone there. I still talk to about half of them so I have learned to master some of the filters and some of them I still follow.

Question 1

In my experience with relationships, the hardest concept to change would be the rigid complementary. According to Trenholm this is when "the submissive partner begins to resent always giving in or when the dominant partner begins to tire of being in charge, dissatisfaction can result"(p. 148). I have definitely experienced this kind of relationship and it became impossible to change. The person that is the submissive role does resent the person in the dominant role and it doesn't change because there is no trust that they truly want it to be different. For example, my ex boyfriend always assumed I liked wearing the pants in our relationship, and this assumption made it impossible for us to ever grow into something different. He didn't believe me that I wanted it to be equal and so we would try and make things different but it wouldn't really ever work. A lot of times people are so fed up with the way things are, that they make it up in their heads that it won't work. Rigid complementary also damages the self-esteem of both partners. The one who is dominant thinks everything is all good and then the other person will act out because they don't feel like everything is all good which causes the dominant one to lose trust in the submissive one. The submissive partner loses self-esteem as well because they feel less of a person if they don't "stand up" to the dominant one.

post 3

I found the concept on cultures being interesting. Specifically the concept about cultures being shared. According to Trenholm, "Cultures are group understandings rather than individual ones, and belonging to a culture means acting according to group norms" (p. 344). I consider my group of friends a particular sub-culture. We all call our group "The Burn-outs". Whatever we do, we do it hard and end up passing out everywhere. We are all always trying to recover from something we did the night before. We have even made jokes about documenting our burned out lives. I adore my culture with my friends. But I am also apart of another culture that I don't necessarily agree with. The culture of America. The pressure to be pretty, to make money, to go to school and get good grades, and the pressure to please others. According to Trenholm, "Indeed, we spend a good deal of time proving who we are and living up to the expectations of others"(p. 344). This is a sad but true notion in a lot of cultures. If one does something wrong that isn't considered culturally acceptable, they get reprimanded for it. It makes me question how free we really are in America.